Jun 122017
 

Nearly 3 years have passed since I sat down to write a blog post. In that time a lot has happened. My About Me page will definitely need an update if I stick with blogging this time around. The one thing that hasn’t changed in those 3 years is my weight, at least not permanently. There have been stretches of time when I’ve stayed on track and managed to lose a chunk, like June of 2015 when I was down to 280. On the flip side of that there have been times where I have ballooned back up to almost 350, like right now.

I’m not sure of my actual weight at the moment, it’s been a few weeks since I had the courage to step on the scale. My hope is to pick up where I left off with blogging, so tomorrow should be Tuesday Timeout. I’ll step on the scale in the morning and see exactly where I’m at. This will give me a good “starting” point as well. As of right now, I’m writing for myself. The plan is use the blog as a way to track my achievements and pitfalls, to chronicle the healthier choices I have been trying to make and to work through some of the sticky thinking and bad habits I am still plagued by.

Which leads me to this weekend… it was wonderful! My birthday was the 11th and I spent the weekend celebrating with family and friends. My shoulders are pink from a little too much sun at the pool, and my belly still remembers all the delicious food consumed. This morning I got up at 4:20 and went to the gym for my first battle ropes class. Oh my word, am I sore now! It was excruciating and wonderful. At times I could barely lift my arms, and of course I made the rookie mistake of not bringing my water in to the class. Once it was over (yay!) I hit the shower and hurried to work.

Surprisingly, my energy level is high and despite being sore I feel great. Getting out of bed an hour earlier to go for a walk or do yoga doesn’t do it for me, but getting out of bed to go slam ropes in to the ground… apparently that does. Luckily there are classes at my Y every Monday and Thursday so I could easily make a habit out of going if I try hard enough.

 Posted by at 11:26 am
Jun 172013
 

My Dad was always around when I was growing up. He met my Mom young, and they had been married for nearly 23 years when he died. There are very few memories of my childhood that don’t involve him in one way or another. He collected strays, welcoming people in to our home, feeding them even though we rarely had enough to go around. My parents always said that our family had the gift of poverty.

As a Reverend and Chaplain his work entailed ministering to our community, a job which he took to heart. I learned the importance of volunteering and public service from my Dad. I still remember the way he looked in his Navy whites, even though I was tiny the last time he wore them. Towards the end of his life he had shifted from leading churches to ministering to inmates. He led a service every week for men who were not able to attend Sunday services because of their past history. Dad never condoned the crimes these men had committed, but his faith in a forgiving God was unwavering.
I don’t want to paint a perfect picture of him, which is easy to do when someone is gone… but today is a day to honor him, and so I will just say that I couldn’t have asked for better. Missing him is something I will live with until I go home for good and get to walk the streets of gold together.
God didn’t stop there though. For the past 6 years I’ve had a pretty awesome Step-dad. Our relationship was rocky for a long time, and honestly we are still learning each other. The best thing about Bill is the sheer volume of his love for my Mom. He is always there for my sisters and I when we truly need him, and he pushes… pushes us to try harder, to be more independent.. to break the mold.
Bill is a retired Marine and is very involved with the AA in our area. It’s funny how my Mom found someone who is incredibly differently, but eerily similar to my Dad. Bill has never treated my sisters or myself as anything other than his girls. And when it comes to the grand-babies… he has that touch. As much as my nephew L looks my Dad, many of his mannerisms are Bill’s.
Although my precious nieces and nephews will never know the man I grew up calling Dad, they have a Grandpa any child would be delighted to love.
Happy Father’s Day!
 Posted by at 4:48 am
Dec 292012
 

I had a good Christmas week. It was quiet, simple, and almost perfect. My sisters weren’t able to come down, and I wasn’t able to go up. In a way, this worked out for the best. Both my Mom and I worked Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so we carpooled and enjoyed coffee. Hopefully my parents and I will be able to go to Washington in January!

My family rarely goes all out on gifts. We prefer to focus on celebrating Christ’s birth and enjoy the special moments that happen when family comes together. I did get a little spoiled this year though… I got a pashmina, a beaded purse, a vintage cuff, lots of toys for the cats, and candy from my immediate family.

My Grandparents sent me money (saved towards a treadmill), and my Aunt and Uncle sent me a Walmart gift card which got me some new slipper socks, a planner for 2013, and chocolate!

Today my parents and I had a small dinner of pulled pork, salad, homemade au-gratin potatoes, candied jalapeños, and a delicious gluten free chocolate hazelnut bread for dessert. After dinner I asked Bill (my Step-dad) if I could borrow their juicer for a few weeks, and he just gave it to me!

A friend gave it to them, and since they never use it, they gave it to me. I put it to use as soon as I got home and plan to use it a lot more!!

I pulled a few more things out of the attic, and made sure a few things I will want soon were still there. All in all it was a great holiday. Really looking forward to 2013!!

 Posted by at 7:13 am
Dec 242012
 

I’ve spent 18 days in the new house. 18 days of hot showers. 18 days of not having to boil water to do dishes. 18 days of not having to use a bucket to flush a toilet. 18 days of being able to use the oven and more than one burner. 18 days of rearranging, cleaning, and savoring.

Last Christmas I hung a few favorite ornaments from cabinet knobs and called it good. The first thing I did after moving in my first load was set up my Christmas tree. It really makes this place feel like home.

The cats love it here. There is a ton of room to play, and all sorts of places to curl up for a nap. I moved the litter box out of the bathroom – they hate that they can’t go to the bathroom with me now. I love it! They have more limits here, but it’s really just helped balance their attitudes out.

I love having so much light. A warm bed. Truthfully, there is so much to be thankful for this holiday season, my new home is only a small bit of it.

Saturday I cooked myself a little Christmas dinner of my favorite holiday foods, and am actually looking forward to working Christmas Eve and Christmas itself. There is something sweet about working the holidays when you’re in health care. Maybe I’m just nutty 😉

Time to head to bed so I can catch a few hours of sleep before work.

Merry Christmas!!

 Posted by at 1:23 pm
Oct 202012
 

It’s that time of year… Stores are putting out holiday decorations and people are indulging in ‘spiced’ goodies. At my favorite coffee shop the barista pushed a pumpkin pie latte in me, it was nausea at first sip. Walking through the new Big Lots that opened in our area last night, I had to detour around the Christmas displays.

Unfortunately I am overly sensitive to cinnamon and cloves. The scent alone makes my stomach twist, and if I try to eat it… It’s messy. One time I spilled a little clove oil at a friends house and whole cleaning it up got some on my skin. Instant redness, swelling, and itching.

It sucks. For years my Mom thought I was allergic to cranberries because I’d get an angry red rash on the back if my neck after eating her homemade sauce at Thanksgiving. Now I enjoy multiple times a year with nutmeg!

I have to admit though, it makes avoiding the typical commercial trappings of the holidays easy. My presents are bought months in advance, no crowds for me. 🙂

 Posted by at 10:12 am
Dec 302011
 
Winter has hit the Pacific Northwest; the way my car swayed crossing the bridge coming home from work last night wouldn’t let me forget that. I listened to the sound of rain pounding down on the roof of the motor-home running from one end to the other duct-taping washcloths to the ceiling in hopes of keeping the water off my floor. The weather took a turn on Christmas day, and hasn’t let up since. There is a say about Oregon; Oregon has three seasons, rain, rain, rain, and road construction. Right now, it feels very true. It’s part of why I love this part of the country though.

Call me crazy, but I have a bond with the rain. It feels like communication from my Father, the heavenly one, and the one who is gone. The day my Dad passed away was beautiful and sunny in Missouri, until the moment I boarded the plan to go home to be with my Mom and sisters. As I passed through the “walk way” and onto the plane, I noticed the rain falling in the small gap between the two. I reached out to touch it; the feeling of wet on my fingers is something I have yet to forget.

For me, it was like his way of saying goodbye. On the day I decided to marry my husband (now ex) and move back to the Northwest from Kentucky, it rained. When I broke up with my husband, it rained. The day I moved in to my very first apartment, all by myself, it rained. The day my Mom and Step-dad offered me the motor-home as an alternative to living in a hotel, it rained. There are many other moments like these. Coincidence, maybe. In fact, as often as it rains here it would be almost impossible NOT to make some sort of life altering choice on a rainy day at least once in a while.

Still, the rain is special to me. I tried not to resent it last night as I found wet spots by the vents and ceiling lights. It’s all fixable, and truly a matter of perspective. My original intention was to post about New Year’s Resolutions, obviously I’ve strayed far.

Heavy on my mind lately has been something deeply personal, and the little drips from the ceiling were like an affirmation of how I decided to deal with these feelings. I am going to make this affirmation part of my New Year’s Resolutions. I have only four this year, and like Sarah of Clover Lane, they are one word each. Hopefully I won’t forget what they mean halfway through the year. I jotted them down in next year’s planner tonight, and hope to come back to this blog next year and celebrate achieving at least a few of them.

 Posted by at 6:00 pm
Dec 182011
 

I introduced you to Bubbly the other day, and wanted to share the other great loves of my life with you as well.

Liam and Kiwi Girl are my youngest sisters children, and they both have wiggled into a very special place in my heart. I am blessed with a total of 2 nephews and 3 nieces, all under the age of 3! Liam and Kiwi Girl are the closest of them all though, and therefor I spend the most time with them. In fact, as I write this Liam is curled up on my fold out snoring away.

Here are a few shots of them from Thanksgiving 2011. Neither were very cooperative, and my camera isn’t the greatest… but I love them all the same.

 Posted by at 4:43 am