Jul 012014

Thursday Timeout doesn’t have the same ‘ring’ to it was Tuesday Timeouts so I made the decision to switch back. It’s been a while since I blogged and I want to ramble before getting in to the normal Tuesday update stuff.

In my last Time (the doomed Thursday attempt) one of my goals was to take my meds every day. When doing this becomes a struggle for me ALL other goals suffer. So when I started faltering I stopped worrying about tracking food or working out. For the past six weeks I have been focusing on medication and water intake above all else. I’m happy to report that save for a few missed days (mostly mornings) I have been successful! I mentioned water intake because holyfreakingcrap do bipolar meds dry your body out. I won’t go in to the ugly details but water + meds go hand in hand for me or things get ugly fast.

It’s been a busy 6 weeks! My cat, Olivia, got sick and ended up having surgery and then while she was recovering I got sick. Adjusting to Ohio weather and allergy triggers (yo tree pollen, I’m looking at you) finally caught up with me and I was laid up for a week on the couch with a head cold that was threatening to migrate down in to my chest. My boyfriend was appalled at the amount of tissue I went through although I think he found parts of how I coped amusing. There was always 3 to 5 drinks at my side! Water, tea, coffee, Powerade, and sometimes a soda.

Do you drink soda when you’re sick? I find the bubbles soothing on my throat and feel like colas help with mucus residue. This is probably not true but as someone who has a perpetually itchy throat I do what I have to do to. Luckily we had already set up a futon in the second bedroom so we were both able to get some sleep and I could keep a close eye on Oli while she was recovering from surgery. Luckily she is fine now and all the concerns about kidney and thyroid functions are cleared up although the first two weeks afterwards I was terrified I had lost my sweet easy going cat forever. She attacked me viciously and almost got her claws in the repairman who was here to fix the leaking air conditioner. That is a story in and of itself but I will skip it because the memory of stinky wet carpet and a hot day aren’t all that interesting.

In other news I have started work. YAY!! And after 3 weeks of trying to acclimate to a dayshift schedule I am finally back on nights. Double YAY!! Having nearly 6 weeks off after moving was a blessing in disguise though. Nick and I needed that time together. He telecommutes so we were able to really get to know each other in a face-to-face fashion and find a routine that works well for us. I do most of the cooking, dishes, and laundry… he takes out the trash, makes coffee, feeds the animals, and handles most of our finances. Things might change a little bit now that I’m back on nights (he works nights too) but all in all I think we’ve hit our stride as a couple.

I turned 30 in June and because of our conflicting schedules Nick and I weren’t able to celebrate until last weekend. Our original plan was to go to LaRosa’s for gluten free pizza and then go see The Edge of Tomorrow but plans changed at the last minute and we went to Outback Steakhouse since I had never been. The gluten free menu was ok. There was a decent amount of choices when it came to entrees but their sides were lacking. All vegetables had to be ordered without seasoning and mashed potatoes weren’t an option. I ended up having Victoria’s Filet and Lobster Tail with a baked potato and roasted broccoli. It was delicious! Our server was sweet and thorough and made a point of going back in to the kitchen and clarifying a few details about the meals gluten free status for me. The steak was perfectly medium rare and the lobster tail was ok. I had never tried lobster before and found it to be incredibly salty, it made me miss the wide array of fresh seafood available in Oregon, specifically crab. It was a good night though, we ended it with candle shopping and wine.

One last thing before I share the normal Timeout details… I LOVE MY JOB! Starting at a new hospital was nerve wrecking but I am soooooo happy. They have an amazing Employee Assistance Program so I am already in therapy (for free!) and one thing this EAP system provides is case management. Another words not only do I get to talk to someone I also have the option to have a social worker who helps with appointments, medication/pharmacy, diet, and lifestyle. I’ve been referred to a psychiatrist for medication management and will also be working with the psychiatrist’s in house therapist once my health insurance kicks in. I despised my last psychiatrist and while the EAP program at my last work place did offer therapy it was only 3 sessions a year and there was no case management.

Alright, I’ve rambled long enough… on to Tuesday Timeout!

Weigh In: 319.6lbs
Starting Weight: 360lbs. Previous Weight: 324.6lbs. Current Loss/Gain: -5lbs.
I have seen the scale as low as 313lbs in the past week or two but ate a sodium heavy dinner last night so I am not stressing this mornings number.

Goals for the Week
Take my medications every single day, morning and night.
Drink at least 64ounces of water daily.
Track everyday.


 Posted by at 4:24 pm
Jun 302013

The sun is beating down on the Southwest region of the United States, something you may already know if you watch/read the news. What you won’t hear a lot about is the heat we are experiencing in the Pacific Northwest, which is accompanied by an unusual 100% humidity. The normal summer temperature here is 72 to 73 degrees (62-65 in town) with low humidity. Today town hit 81 and where I live hit 92. Throw in a high pollen level and having to sleep in a sun-room during the day…

I haven’t been sleeping. Not sleeping, pollen, and humidity all trigger my asthma. Struggling to breath makes me tired. I skip working out when I’m tired. When I don’t work out I stress out about not working out. There is enough going on in my life that I don’t need to stress about anything else right now!

Work has been busy, I worked 95 hours in two weeks, and was scheduled to work 107. When I got off this morning I begged a coworker to take my shift tonight and went to my Mom’s to sleep. She doesn’t live far from me so it was already 90 degrees when I got there, but she has more fans and not as many windows (I have south, east, and north facing windows – it’s more a steam room than a sun-room at the moment)… so I crawled in to bed and actually got 8 solid hours of sleep today.

Then I got up and worked out. I ran 1 mile and walked 1 mile. It felt great to be working out for the first time in NINE days. Sleeping, working out, and not working are making me feel better already. My asthma is still touchy, but hopefully I will be able to sleep at night until this heat wave passes.

 Posted by at 6:01 am
Jun 242013
The 10 days have not been all that great. Between the crazy work schedule, a change in my meds, payday, and some unneeded drama I am whooped. There ups and downs with my eating, some days were better than others. My sleep suffered so much that one day I crashed in town on friends couch instead of brave the 45 minute drive home. 

I have decided to move. The cottage I live in now is serene, and when I first moved in the distance from town was perfect. It kept me from using shopping as therapy and helped me realize how important downtime is after work. I also became much more comfortable behind the wheel, and learned to drive while tired. 

Unforgettably there are times I am simply too tired. 45 minutes each way and 12 hour shifts eat in to the time I have to sleep while home. Another reason I’ve decided to move is school. It’s time to go back, and I can’t afford the gas to drive both to work and college. After writing out a pros and cons list I decided it was time to go. Hopefully I will find out Wednesday if the place I looked at in town is mine! 

As much as I will miss the cheap rent, gorgeous yard, and quiet community I am looking forward to being less than 2 miles from my work, doctor, psychiatrist, a gym, the store, college, and my friends. Even though the rent will be more expensive, I will still be saving money on gas and laundry, since there are washer/dryer hook-ups. I’ll have to get some furniture, since the cottage came partially furnished, a dining table or desk, an end table and coffee table, rugs, oh… and a washer and a dryer. 

School, moving… It’s been a crazy week in my head and instead of running it out I indulged in food. Tuesday’s weigh-in isn’t going to be pretty. I am slowly getting myself back on track and hope to handle the upcoming changes in a healthier way. 

 Posted by at 6:00 am
Jun 062013

Never let anyone tell you that nursing isn’t a dangerous profession. My first night back was a whopper. Luckily I was working telemetry and not the floor, but I felt for my coworkers. We had some dangerous situations and it made for a long chaotic night.

Otherwise my night was ok. I had a lot of anxiety about going back to work, and by a lot I mean a semi-load. I actually considered calling in. Instead I threw myself in to prepping lunches for the week and getting ready.

The dogs started to bark (my landlord has 2) and I heard a man on my porch. Thinking it was my Step-Dad (not very many men know where I live) I tripped through the messy house and to the door. It was my Pastor.

Slightly mortified, I ushered him inside and apologized for the mess. I was still in my pajamas and kind of greasy from cooking. He watched as I continued to meal prep and we talked. I haven’t been to church since Easter.

I started taking the anti-depressant that spiraled me out of control right after Easter and just haven’t been able to face church. The fact that he showed up today was a God-send.

I told him the truth about what has been going on and we talked a bit about how sometimes when I feel like I should pull away I really should be stepping forward. Then he prayed for me and my first night back and left.

If you’re curious, this is what I have packed for lunches this week. Since I work 12 hour shifts I tend to pack 3 ‘meals’ and 2 snacks.

Meal 1: Taco Pasta
Meal 2: Salad
Meal 3: Baked tortilla chips & funky mango salsa
Snacks: Broccoli, watermelon

Since I didn’t work out before work I am going to skate right in under my calories, maybe a little bit over. Generally I eat more my first night back since I am trying to stay awake.

It was fun to do my hair and makeup up. I played around a bit in front of the mirror and got a new picture for my FB page.

Haha. I am half tempted to use it just to be silly. Here is the real one.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

 Posted by at 3:00 pm
May 172013

I dithered about going for my run yesterday. For a while I sat on my bed, all dressed to go out… trying to talk myself out of going. Last weeks funk still has its claws in me. Eventually I stopped listing of excuses and just went.

I am so glad I did! I knocked 8 seconds off my mile and 32 seconds off my 5k. It seems like such a small number but it felt great!

Nike + Stats

The run itself was on the painful side, I actually walked a large part of it… But I did it! This only my second time doing a full 3.1 miles.

We switched glasses, what do you think?

Work last night was busy but I still found time to have a little bit of fun with a coworker. A. has been super supportive of my efforts to get healthy and I really appreciate her friendship.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

 Posted by at 1:10 pm
May 162013

I had an odd day off this week, and in effort not to break my routine up too much I slept late and am trying to stay up until at least 2am. The downside to 12 hour night shifts is that I am a natural morning person.

This wasn’t always the case, for most of my life I was a notorious night owl. About 4-5 years ago something shifted and now I love sleeping at night. What a novel idea. Trying to stay up late when I don’t have anything to do (total lie , the cottage needs cleaning, lunches need packing, curtains need sewing… Now you know why I titled this post Lazy!) when it’s dark out sucks.

I just made myself a cup of hot cocoa and plan to cuddle up under the electric blanket soon. It means I will be tired tomorrow night at work, but I’m used to that.

Since yesterday was a Bodyweight training day, today is a run day for me. I am going to ignore my apps halfway point and go out 1.5 miles. The app generally gets me 2.3 miles total and I want to hit 3.1 again.

I’m also going back up to 1 minute run intervals tomorrow. Last week I was at 1:15, but dropped back to 30 seconds (then 45) while I broke in new shoes and babied my leg.

My Brooks were a great investment. I don’t feel as wobbly. I started running in Liv’s by Sketchers, great for work but not meant for running! The Brooks are heavy though! After wearing them for a few days continuously I’m happy to retire them to pure running shoes. They were impossible to drive in, they always ended up kicked off to the passenger side.

Ugh, I am not going to make it to 2am. Goodnight! Can’t wait to wake up and slay those 3 miles.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

 Posted by at 8:06 am